Well everyone, its the end of the year. Halloween has passed, my birthday has passed, I'm one year older (and not doing well adjusting to this fact), Thanksgiving feasting is over with and now its onto the Christmas season, for which I am GOING HOME!!!!
in 24 days I will be spending nine days in Honolulu to do nothing but relax in the sun, listen to the surf, visit with friends that I haven't seen in forever, visit with my family and just take a break from life.
Not that I have much to take a break from except driving myself crazy over the opposite sex, dating them and figuring them out, over analyzing every word and action until I've driven half of my guy friends insane, most of my girlfriends crazy and practically driven myself into a bumbling idiot. I don't know how people do it. Dating sucks.
Second date with Cornell was yours truly at her absolute worst. I'm not talking foot in mouth, I'm not talking sassy...I'm talking clumsy and scatter brained. I was not calm, cool, collected...I've practically got my head in my hands while I write this...
I'm totally rushed since we agreed to meet at 6:30 - its a Friday night. There's rush hour traffic...not only to I have to put in a full day at work and not leave until 5, but I've got to go home, get cute, figure out what to wear and get to the Highlands by 6:30...its not totally impossible, but its got me freaking out. I don't do well under stress like this.
I get to the restaurant - it was just easier for me to meet him there - I'm about 10 minutes late (thank you rush hour traffic) and I rush into the bar area where he's sitting feeling like I'm making a Kramer-like entrance.
I take off my coat and I'm FREEZING in my cute silky chocolate brown dress and strappy shoes. One of those classic dresses that is so visually silky and shiny that men cannot resist trying to touch. Classic and tempting all at the same time (Seriously, sometimes I feel sorry for you men).
I seem to think that I've gotten myself together by the time our second round of mojitos came around...until I realized that I really hadn't had anything to eat since lunch...and my head is kinda light. So we order dinner and finishing my second mojito, I ask for a Chardonnay. I mean you CAN'T drink MOJITOS in this dress - its like wearing Armani to a white trash party...you just don't insult your clothes like that!!
I get up at this point to go to the bathroom. I'm planning my walk out, make sure I'm walking slow, seductively, eyes on him and girls you KNOW you do this when you know you look this good!! He's switched chairs and right in line of vision. He's totally watching me, I smile and I'm getting so close to our table, ready to walk up and stand right in front of him knowing he'll put his arms around me for even just a second. Its a total calculated seduction moment. Right up to the table I go - and my heel slips on the slick floor and I practically crash into the table.
OH DEAR GOD!!!
I cover it up by laughing and calling myself clumsy - after all our first date was right after I got my concussion...to which he responded by scooting his chair close and put his hand on my leg - which started moving very slightly back and forth against that amazing silky dress material.
Thinking everything is fine at this point and trying to cover up humiliation, I pick up my wine glass and somehow spill half of it down the front of myself, all over my dress and in my haste to try to dry it up somehow and PRAYING he didn't notice, grabbed my linen napkin and knocked my silverware off the table making the loudest clanging noise EVER...
Please let me die now...please let the floor open up and swallow me now so I don't have to look at him.
I glanced at him staring at me and put my head in my hands for a second then looked at him and said - "well, now that I've made a total ass of myself, I'm completely embarrassed and I think I'm just going to go home now."
He just smiled at me and suggested we get out of there and go somewhere else.
Well, anyway...the rest of the night went SO much better - downright fantastic actually.
I don't know who kissed who first or how or when it happened, but we turned into "that" couple in the bar that you get disgusted by and you just want to tell them to get a room. Couldn't keep our hands off of each other, could barely come up for air.
So I took him home where we polished off the rest of my chocolate vodka and proceeded to tear each other apart.
I'll save the TMI parts, but it was one of those sex, nap, sex, nap nights and all during all naps he slept with his arms around me.
I rate him in the top 2. And hot, oh lordy he's just drool worthy with no clothes on - the type that you just can't get enough of and can't keep your hands off of...
Our third date was the same way...but didn't end all that great. I asked him if I'd get to see him before he left for Boston and his reply was maybe. MAYBE??
To which he replied, "I'm playing hard to get"...
Completly baffled into a speachless silence, I watched him get into his car...
I'm pretty sure thats the last I'll see of him. And when I say pretty sure, I made one last ditch effort a few days later to see if he'd like to hang out...I got a reply from him almost 24 hours later saying he had plans. I haven't responded. Quite frankly I don't want to.
One of my guy friends chastised me a little about giving it up on the 2nd date...
I'm not devistated by any means, more irritated than anything and of course there is always that nagging voice in the back of your mind that always keeps you wondering "what happened??"
Well, I may never know. I may never hear from him again, and I'm actually fine with that. and the best thing about it is i'm not trying to convince myself of being fine with it. I learned with GC, there is nothing that you can do to make someone want you if they don't.
But honestly, I'm so OVER dating. I'm TIRED of it. I think my prince charming may have gotten lost or maybe his GPS is as horrible as mine and he can't find me...so if you happen to come upon him, please let him know that he needs to email me so I can send him detailed instructions to where I am.
xoxo,
Me
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