Every once in a while I cannot control my impulses and that usually leads to me sitting on my patio on a half a xanax and a nice pour of chilled vodka and a cigarette thinking "why did I do that?"
That didn't happen this time.
There is a lot that happened in the last few months that I haven't written about...mostly because the words would never come as they usually do when my fingers hit the key board and I'm not sure why, but I do owe a lot of people who follow this anonymously a lot of catching up...anyway...off I go on a side tangent again...
Lets get back and focus.
I just haven't been able to get "him" out of my mind...and I've even been out with other guys since he's been gone so I sitting at a stop light yesterday on my way to Easter Dinner #2, I sent him a text. Watching hockey (which I had been at home earlier) made me think of you. Hope you're doing great and having a good Easter. I actually signed my name after the text in case he deleted my number (like I usually do).
I got a text hours later while I was in the shower and when I saw that there were two texts from him, my heart stopped and I was more than sure it was a text asking me to leave him alone. Quite the contrary to my surprise.
In the first text ee said he hoped I was rooting for the Caps and he had spent the weekend skiing and fishing. Did I get to hunt Easter eggs?
The second text said Thanks for texting, I thought about texting you a few times, but I didn't know if it would piss you off...
We texted for a while after that. The only thing that I kept really thinking though was "he thought about me...maybe even missed me a little bit."
So I put the most of myself out there for him than I ever did and I should have the entire time that I had him in my life and sent him a text that said "I've missed you everyday".
I, for the first time ever have a regret in my life. I regret that the one person I probably should have been open to, had been myself and the one person I should have told how much I really liked him and how I really felt, I didn't.
That didn't happen this time.
There is a lot that happened in the last few months that I haven't written about...mostly because the words would never come as they usually do when my fingers hit the key board and I'm not sure why, but I do owe a lot of people who follow this anonymously a lot of catching up...anyway...off I go on a side tangent again...
Lets get back and focus.
I just haven't been able to get "him" out of my mind...and I've even been out with other guys since he's been gone so I sitting at a stop light yesterday on my way to Easter Dinner #2, I sent him a text. Watching hockey (which I had been at home earlier) made me think of you. Hope you're doing great and having a good Easter. I actually signed my name after the text in case he deleted my number (like I usually do).
I got a text hours later while I was in the shower and when I saw that there were two texts from him, my heart stopped and I was more than sure it was a text asking me to leave him alone. Quite the contrary to my surprise.
In the first text ee said he hoped I was rooting for the Caps and he had spent the weekend skiing and fishing. Did I get to hunt Easter eggs?
The second text said Thanks for texting, I thought about texting you a few times, but I didn't know if it would piss you off...
We texted for a while after that. The only thing that I kept really thinking though was "he thought about me...maybe even missed me a little bit."
So I put the most of myself out there for him than I ever did and I should have the entire time that I had him in my life and sent him a text that said "I've missed you everyday".
I, for the first time ever have a regret in my life. I regret that the one person I probably should have been open to, had been myself and the one person I should have told how much I really liked him and how I really felt, I didn't.
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