Today consisted of working at a golf tournament which was completely awesome. My office was the 17th hole. I got to be social and drink all that I wanted (within reason of course so I got myself pretty darned toasty off of Bloody Marys by 2 pm) and then realized that I had a ridiculous sunburn on the back of my legs...and I never get a sun burn!! Second to the last team playing includes a pretty hot guy, which makes me perk up ever so slightly. He drops his business card in the drawing fishbowl and god dammit wouldn't you know it. He's got the same first name as GC and spelled the exact same way too...
UGH. GOD DAMMIT.
After an hour drive back to Denver from this golf tourney was time to get ready to go out. Three sets of friends were going to Jacksons. $10 all you can drink till midnight. SWEET. Even if I just had TWO it'd pay for itself. OH WAIT. Its Mile of Men tonight. BLECH. It reminds me of a cattle call...it makes me just SAD. Whatever. Fun friends, a few recently single girls like me in their 30's E and J, a great guy friend I haven't seen in about a YEAR Zman and a girl from work. Should be pretty fun.
I put on that dress that just makes you feel good about yourself. That one that made heads turn. Yeah, not so much tonight. Must be that vibe I'm putting out that just says DON'T FUCK WITH ME.
I have no idea if anyone tried to hit on me. I'm just not receptive of that right now. I miss GC way too much and I have no desire to replace him by jumping into bed with someone else. Guess that moto of "get under someone to get over someone" some how doesn't apply anymore...must be that growing up stuff that I never understood.
It felt great to hang with Zman again. I'm so proud of this guy. He's got a job he'll be moving to Oregon for in 6 months. Damn. He's like a great big brother bear that won't let any guy near me and he just makes me laugh and feel good about myself. He's a pretty amazing guy. Some girl that he's asked out a few times showed up. He muttered something about her standing him up twice and proceeded to get shit face wasted. I was slightly envious of him. I stayed sober.
E and J the two girls that I had originally met out left with this uber hot guy from Manchester, England that J picked up. I headed to Lodo's to meet up with the girl I worked with and by the time I found her, and smoked my last cigarette, I'd just had enough. Enough with the meat market and the wanna be Jersey Shore boys and the immature frat kids and just craved going home. I made it till 1 though. Pretty big feat for me these days.
The entire ride home I fought the overwhelming urge to just send GC a text that just said I miss you. I knew that the non reply that would follow would be devastating, so I fought the urge for a 1 am Taco Bell run. Fuck that. I've lost over 10 pounds in the last few weeks, I'm not gaining it back even though I'm very sure that my body would probably try to squeeze any sort of what could be construed as a nutrient from it. Sometimes I wish I was actually hungry again and my throat wouldn't close up when I try to eat.
So I got home, took a shower and writing a shout out to my "start living again" episodes. At least that's what I hope it is. I actually laughed around Zman and felt light hearted. I was super jealous of J and that uber hot catch of hers with an amazing English accent. Made me miss my favorite Englishman that was like my brother back in Hawaii who's now moved to Japan.
SO - good night, sleep tight. I'll take myself to bed now. Ciao.
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