Today I woke up for the first time since the break up refreshed...(thank god for Xanax). No nightmares last night. If I had them, I don't remember them.
I'm normal today. I didn't listen to sad songs this morning. I didn't feel "heavy". The break up process suck. SUCKS badly, but I won't go into that right now...I know those posts are coming and I'm sure I'll get sick of them just like I'm sure my poor friends are sick of hearing about it...(thank goodness I have several different circles of friends so I can give them all a break.)
Today I feel like I'm joining the world again.
I had a great dinner and a few glasses of Pinot Noir (LOVE PINOTS!!) great damned chicken wings (I'm so picky about those), great damned pizza and great company coming from someone I didn't really expect to have it come from. I'll call him Rink.
I went to dinner with Rink to a new place that I've never been and had a wonderful time. He let me vent, which was nice. Didn't have much to say, but just let me talk. The good, the bad. He just let me talk. Then he said "You just have to see how great other people think you are. When you believe what other people see its going to be great for you."
I've heard things like this over and over and over again from my inner circle of people I hold near and dear (I've chalked that up to them being biased cause they are my friends), but this came from someone whom I've never really had a deep conversation with. Who I've never really let be apart of my inner circle (I'm a Scorpio BTW). THEN the next thing he said floored me.
Rink is very good friends with a previous ex that I will call DN (Douche Nozzle - I learned that phrase yesterday and loved it). They do Taco Tuesdays together, etc...etc...and that's taken me a year to come to terms with this because I HATE DN...anyway I'm getting off topic which I do often as most people with ADD do. ANYWAY. The thing that he said that floored me was DN fully admitted what he did to me was horrible. I know I'll never hear an apology from DN, but the fact that he would admit it was incredible to me. It still didn't make me feel bad for dunking DNs toothbrush in the toilet when I was moving out and scrubbing the inside of the toilet with said toothbrush then putting it back in the toothbrush holder.
I'm super excited for my girls happy hour tonight. Margaritas. I love GOOD margaritas. I love being around grounded and happy women who are secure in themselves. This is what I am looking forward to most. I thrive off of people like this. Then I'm off to Jet to hang out with some friends I haven't seen in a very long time that I've missed very much. I think a VIP table and surrounding myself amongst my beautiful friends is just what I need. Saturday I'm going back to my most favorite ever yoga class. I have such a girl crush on my teacher. She's beautiful. There's also something about her that just makes you surrender your soul for an hour out of the day. She makes you want to lay your heart out and gives you insightful things to think about. Almost Eat, Pray, Love-ish. AND she helped me get over my fear of doing handstands. Not that I can do them myself yet, but I don't freak out when I'm upside down anymore. Which I find slightly poetic since my entire life is turning upside down. (Self discovery wise). Then onto the biggest concert here in Denver. I get to see 6 or so of my favorite bands and i'm going to be with my one of my besties and her husband and other friends.
Sunday will be hard because that's the day that GC (the recent break up) and I would invite everyone (mostly his friends) over to my pool and spend the day with friends in the sun, then have a great dinner, great sex, watch a movie and Entourage or whatever series we were on and fall asleep together. I would fall asleep with my face pressed on his arm and the smell of his skin would put me into such a relaxed and content state that nightmares wouldn't plague me like they usually do. But I won't think about that right now...
Right now, its time for me to focus on work and getting through Friday at the office. My boss told me I looked nice today - he never tells me I look nice...guess I've been a little bit of a slob and haggard looking from the lack of sleep and anxiety for a while.
Head Up, Chin Up right?
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