Wait...I'm doing Promos again?

I wasn't quite sure what on earth this weekend would bring.  All I know is that I knew for certain (even when I had a boyfriend) I wouldn't have a date for the long weekend.  In some ways I was right, some I was wrong.
Its been a very busy and tiring weekend for me - thank goodness I was out in the sun and kept so incredibly busy that for once I wasn't thinking about what HE was doing.  (Except of course when I got a break and sat outside and smoked a cigarette and looked at the mountains and thought about him in Keystone on his boys only fantasy football weekend).

This weekend, I donned uniforms and hit the pavement to promote Wikkit.  A new app that is being developed that two friends of mine have invested in. 

C needed my help since she's worked with me and I knew the ropes and I knew what I was doing.  Her promo team was brand new.  But they were GOOD once they got down to it and figured it out.

I have one thing to say right now.   I saw some of the photos from over the weekend and dear lord god, I have my flat stomach back!!!  I looked GOOD.

I hung out with college kids, I got to witness the intense rivalry that happens between colleges. 

I cheered both teams teams.  I was a total "whore".  You tell me what team you like and I will like them too - with all my heart and soul I will cheer for _____ to win!!!  Now, let me sign you up for this app!!  and yes, I'll totally take a cold beer from you.  Thanks!!(I really didn't care what team won as long as we made our numbers).  However I insert a disclaimer here - the only team that I hope loses every game this year is the Georgia Bulldogs.  That is my one mean streak I have for the ex.  I hope that the team you love with your heart and soul...the team that brings back every great college memory for you loses every game from here to eternity and I hope their quarterback gets slaughtered.

I saw a girl get carried out on a stretcher before 11 am.  I saw people get kicked out of the game before it even started.  I saw a guy get escorted (handcuffed of course) out.  I was hit on by 20 something boys, some even younger and I loved them for it.  I was picked up by firemen. 

I flirted, I giggled, I sold, I was confident and I forgot how much I missed the promo world where happiness and being stupid smart got you what you wanted.  I forgot the art of flirting, the art of manipulating people to get what I wanted.  To make strange women who wanted nothing more than for me to get away from their boyfriends actually smile at me before I left.  I forgot how much that world does not let you get down on yourself and you must be "on" for such long periods of time that you actually forget that you are sad and depressed.  I found my smile, I turned it on, I had to look as beautiful as I could possibly look.  People weren't getting the product, I was selling me to get them to want the product. 

It was wonderful, exhausting, tiring and I loved every minute of it.  I needed to hear strange people tell me I was beautiful, that I was funny.  I miss posing for pictures and being with a bunch of girls who are just out to have fun - and getting paid to do it.

I lost my voice, I did shots, I got to hang out and meet some great people who truly made me laugh and lifted the cloud that was starting to settle again.

These girls were wonderful to be around.  I remember being them.  Fearless, the world was at my feet, laughter just bubbled out.  The world has not yet chipped away at them.  It hasn't pushed them down and they each still had enough of their hearts in tact to throw it out to the world and not care about it.  They still had that blissful ignorance that only the young know.  And I craved it.  I let them envelope me.  I soaked them all in and I wasn't jealous of them, I was glad for them. 

I have been looking around with open eyes.  They have been sad eyes.  I try to make them happy.  I try to make myself happy.  I try to keep myself busy.  I have had so many people that are so wonderful to surround myself with.
I went to the zoo today with my friend JG.  We had a blast and I loved the no muss no fuss of being able to just hang out.  No worries, no anxiety, no love.  Just two friends enjoying each others company and just have fun.  Sushi for dinner. Now I'm off to meet some friends tonight for drinks.  Sum says she's got this guy she wants to introduce me to.  I have zero giddiness.  I don't even really care.  I want GC back to curl up with and watch a movie with.  I have no want to try to get over him by replacing him.  I need that want to fade in my mind.  I want it to fade because that is what time does for you.  I have a canyon in my soul that needs to heal and while its not bleeding anymore, its still very very deep and it just needs to heal.  I need to get to know me and get comfortable with who I am before I do anything with anyone.  I can't even seem to summon the effort to be witty right now.  But, who knows, free drinks are free drinks and who am I to turn that down?